Fencing

I’ve been revisiting some of my older writings. Here is a revised journal entry from 2008. The italic lines are spoken by my spirit. The others are spoken by my flesh.

Spirit vs. Flesh

Why not? Go ahead. Dive in.

But it’s scary.

I dare you.

I never wanted to be daring.

You know it’s the right thing to do.

Sure. But I also know that I’m hungry and have to pee.

This is so much more important.

Oh yeah? Well you never had to deal with being sore and tired and sick…

How does that matter?

You know God will ask me to go through more of that hard stuff if I “just dive in.”

You can endure it.

I hate it.

You can endure it.

I fear it.

He made your body. He cares about you. He won’t ruin you.

But he might sacrifice me. What then?

(Silence)

What then, huh?

Then…it will be worth it.

Cop out.

It’s true. You know it.

Yeah, but I also know that pain hurts. And what does diving in even look like?

Total submission to His will.

Meaning…

Meaning you don’t get to call the shots anymore.

Riiiiight. That totally sounds like fun.

He never said it would be fun.

What on earth will it do for me?

That’s the wrong question…but it will give you meaning and satisfaction.

That’s all?

Yep. Aside from all the temporary benefits of not disobeying.

Like not getting punished.

Like not seeing others punished for your mistakes.

Ouch.

Well, I’ll let you think about it. You know you’ll give in eventually.

Maybe. But I’m not saying yes now.

Oh, I didn’t expect it. You always hated admitting when you were wrong.

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Currently I’m thinking about “diving in” by going back to China. It’s big and scary and downright uncomfortable. But it’s worth it. He is worth it.

What has God asked you to dive in to recently? Let me know in the comments!