No Spoilers

Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.

-James 4:14

 

"I can't believe that Kylo Ren burst into that creepy rendition of 'Let It Go' at the end of the movie!" Sam shouted.

Yesterday I saw The Force Awakens. If you haven't seen it yet, don't worry, I'll abide by the title of this post. Except to assure you that Elsa's song did NOT make an appearance.

As we left the theater, Sam loudly pronounced his shock over laughably untrue spoilers, just to confuse movie goers who were already filling the seats for the next showing.

Which got me thinking, why do we hate spoilers so much? Why don't we want someone to tell us the outcome, good or bad, in an upcoming movie? Why do we avoid Facebook on the release date of a big film we haven't seen? Don't we want to know what happens?

Of course we want to know, but even more than that, we want to see. To experience the emotion of the characters, to cry when Wallace sacrifices himself, to cheer tragically when Gaston slips, to rejoice when Aslan resurrects.

Why then, do we take the opposite approach to life?

God, who will I marry? How long will I live in this city? Will my children follow you when they grow up? When are you coming back? And could you please give me a detailed timeline of important events between now and then?

God is not fooled by our begging. He tells no one the day or the hour, their number of hairs, or the weather tomorrow. And deep down, we don't want him to. It would ruin the surprise. So today, let us live life as it comes, rejoicing and weeping as God directs, trusting him to weave an even better story than The Force Awakens.

Merry Christmas!

"The Lord himself will give you the sign. Look! The virgin will conceive a child! She will give birth to a son and will call him Immanuel (which means 'God is with us')."

-Isaiah 7:14 

I'm taking this week off in honor of the holiday. I hope you are doing something special as well!

Laws and Baseball Bats

I've been in a bit of a down mood lately. Here's a Dave-Barry-inspired humorous piece I wrote in 2009, in case you've been feeling the same. Enjoy!

Laws and Baseball Bats

            Hello there and welcome to Science Class 101! Today’s Fascinating Topic of Discussion (during which you will probably nod off) is: Newton’s Three Laws of Physics! That’s right. These Laws are so powerful and inescapable that you are probably snoring with your head on your desk in a pool of your own saliva from the mere thought of them, which goes to show that you are still obeying Newton’s Law of Gravity, a sort of Bonus Law scientists awarded him when they saw how clever his first three were. See how oppressive our scientific system is? You’re still following a law awarded years ago to some dead guy who wore a wig.

            I think it is unfair that Newton gets three laws all to himself, while I, though I have just as many, if not more, cleverly worded sayings, cannot have even one law. Newton refuses to share a law with me, and, given the current state of his mind, is not likely to budge from his position on the issue. This is a shame, because I have already thought of several good ones, such as my Law of Neutrality, my Law of Electrolytes, and my Law requiring people engaged in tooth-brushing to stay in the part of the house designated for disgusting activities (directly in front of the bathroom sink), which would prevent the increase of minty-smelling saliva specks in other, more habitable, parts of the home.

            So here we are today, discussing Newton’s Laws, instead of mine. Newton’s First Law of Physics states, “An object at rest will remain at rest unless acted upon by an unbalanced force.” This means that you will keep your head on your desk until some unbalanced force, like me with a baseball bat, sneaks up behind you and shoves you in a menacing manner. At the approach of this unbalanced force, you will cease to remain at rest but will sit bolt upright and focus on my discussion of Newton’s next two Laws.

            Newton’s Second Law of Physics required slightly more insight, and probably caused Newton to sweat profusely into his wig and have it sent off to the 17^th Century Wig Cleaners Guild. The result of this sweat was the following: “Acceleration is produced when a force acts on a mass. The greater the mass, the greater the amount of force needed.” This Law results in a nifty little equation, F=ma, in which F stands for force, m for mass, and a for acceleration, though if the letters stood for fights, muscles, and annoying little brothers the equation would still hold true.

            Newton’s Third Law took him no time at all to create. It is, in fact, quite obvious to any parent of teenage boys. This Law, “For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction,” shows why, if you ask your teenage son to empty the trashcan, he will, without fail, get up and move away from the trashcan toward the stairs up to his room, claiming he has some urgent homework he had forgotten about until just that moment. It also shows that Newton had a teenage son.

            So there you have them. Newton’s Three Laws of Physics, constantly explaining why everyone in the world behaves as bizarrely as they do. You may now feel free to stand up and resume your normal mental functions. No really, you should, because your teenage son IS STANDING RIGHT BEHIND YOU WITH A BASEBALL BAT.

To an Aging Lover

"Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken the love you had at first."
Revelation 2:4

 Today we go back to a Shakespearean-style sonnet I wrote in 2010.

Your love is a bloom that’s crunchy and dried

From rosy to brown: You left it to rot.

The yestereve of yestereve it died

Like the lonely lover you forgot.

Your love is iron crunched over by rust:

A steel sword to slice through medieval foes.

It beat off dragons and lions and dust

But caked in winters of winters it froze.

Your love is wind: it dusts crunchy, dry air

That used to loft scents of flowery spring.

It bites your bronzed skin, your lips, your teased hair,

Your fingers that will never fit into rings.

Just as lives wax in order to wane

So with your love: its life was its bane.