Yahtzee

 "And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified. What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?"

 ~Romans 8:30-32

Clatter, clatter, clatter. Thump, thump. Two dice escaped my blue plastic rolling cup, bouncing on the tablecloth. Six and six. I moved them beside my other three sixes.

“No way!” my mom exclaimed. “Three Yahtzees?! We don’t even need to finish the game, we know you’re going to win.”

I smiled. It was true. And yet I found myself vexed by each subsequent roll. I’d gotten my small straight before my large straight, and as I gambled with a one, two, three, five, I felt my gut twist as four refused to come out on top.

Good grief, Elizabeth! Why are you so worried? You’ve already won!

*****

I've already won, indeed. Jesus is preparing a New Earth as I write. For millions upon millions of years, I will revel in complete victory. It is finished.

And yet I find myself biting my nails. How will God bring in enough money for me to follow him to China? Can he possibly fix that broken relationship? Will he be able to support my emotions if I never get married?

God has handed me ten thousand and one Yahtzees. May he forgive my frequent faithlessness in fearing one lost large straight.